© 2019 by Claudia Chanhoi. All rights reserved.

Dating 101

Personal Project, 2019

01. Dating & Alcohol

How has alcohol affected our relationships and dating culture? Some say alcohol affects our decision-making abilities and we tend to make wrong decisions or lower our standards. Some say alcohol helps people to bond better in most social situations where a lot of romantic relationships happen.

02. Dating & Money

Money talk has always been a sensitive topic. Some say men should always pay for the first date. However, is this concept still relatable in the modern dating culture? Should we always go Dutch just to make it fair? Or whoever asked the other person out should pay?

Also, would it be a problem for you if your date(s) have a different financial situation or a completely different concept of money?

03. Dating & Sex

First-time sex is always tricky. Having sex with someone new can be awkward yet exciting. It can also be seemed as “test-driving a car before buying it”. Can a GOOD / AVERAGE / BAD sex experience change relationship dynamics?

We all know how important sex is in a relationship. Weirdly, we also have a funny relationship with sex that some of us feel guilty or even shameful about having sex on the first date! How soon is too soon to finally take the car for a spin? Should we just go with the flow even sadly we may face disapproval from the society because slut-shaming is still a common criticism of women...

04. Dating & Age

Dating in your 20s might not be the same as it in your 30s / 40s. Some say your dating pool will get smaller and smaller as you get older and older. Dating also seems easier in university than after university. What has really changed?

Also, does the age gap difference in relationships matter? In most cultures, we have seen older men dating younger women, but not so much the other way round. How much age difference is acceptable to you or you simply don’t find it matter at all because there’s no such thing as “generation gap”?

05. Dating & Apps

Everything can be done online, so as dating. Online dating is great! It opens doors to meet more people and expands our dating pools.

However, it has also changed our dating pattern and provided us a “buffet-style” dating culture. It feels like an all-you-can-eat buffet and we are constantly swiping for the next best thing. We swipe to see what’s out there and it feels like we are in control of whom we gonna match and almost engineering our love lives.

We may think that we have expanded our dating pool once we go online, but we have also “shrunk down” our patience with getting to know our dates in an organic way and probably our chance for a meaningful relationship. It has become a pattern that once we find a flaw in that person, we will go back to swiping and will look for someone new in our dating pool. Eventually, it is not a matter of how big or small our dating pool actually is, online or offline; it’s our mentality dictates how big or small our dating pool is.

One thing I find quite interesting in the digital world is people ask for your Instagram before getting to know you offline. They love to see what you have put up online and have a quick preview of you and rate you like a movie. Everything happens so instantly online and it has a huge impact on our relationships too. Do we also have to keep up with the online speed for our love lives? Or, a better question would be how can we be more offline?

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